Not Faking It: Building Genuine Confidence

8th July 2019

If you want to be more confident in life, you have probably noticed that there is plenty of advice to be found out there about how to make sure of that. Much of that advice, however, is generally going to be focused on some kind of way of learning to fake it til you make it. The problem with that is that, while it might generally produce some kind of short-term effects, the likelihood of it creating a lasting feeling of real confidence in you is pretty slim. What you want is to find a way to develop your real confidence. Fortunately, that’s something that any of us can do. Confidence is not something you’re either born with or not; it is more like a muscle that you can exercise as much or as little as you like. In this article, we are going to look at some powerful ways to exercise that muscle without feeling like you are faking it the whole time.

Be Kind To Yourself

One of the biggest killers of confidence is negative self-talk, but that is something that we all have. If you are trying to become more confident, you will find that you need to try and do away with your negative self-talk in some kind of manner, so that you can rise beyond that. The best way to ensure that your negative self-talk does not recur again and again is to simply be kind to yourself. The kidner you are in how you approach yourself, the more likely you are to speak to yourself kindly, and that is exactly what you need to do in order to be more confident generally. It is when we are unkind and focus on all our bad qualities that we find ourselves floundering and not feeling confident in our lives. Be kind to yourself, and your self-talk will improve, which will then improve your confidence levels overall.

Focus On Your Good Qualities

Whatever it is that you want to try and improve in yourself, there will also be many things that you are keen on keeping as they are already good qualities that you have. By focusing on those good qualities more than the bad, you will find that it is easier to be kind to yourself, and to ensure that you keep your understanding and perception of yourself as positive and clear as possible. If you are so out of touch with your own self-esteem that you can’t think of any good qualities, then you will need to spend some time quietly reflecting for a while, as you might need to allow that negative self-talk we mentioned earlier to dissipate. If you’re really stuck, ask someone close to you for ideas, and they will certainly be able to tell you. By continually focusing on your good qualities, you can ensure that you are going to build a real confidence in yourself, one which is not built on trying to be someone else, but on being who you really are. There is real power in that, and it is that power which you are really looking for.

Although you might not have much of an interest in being a leader, you will find that much of the process of learning to be one involves developing real-world skills for acting and speaking confidently, and that is something that you will find translates very easily into a general feeling of confidence within yourself. If you can lead people, talk well, and present yourself as being in charge, the feeling of confidence you will get will be unlike anything you have experienced before, so it is absolutely worth doing for that reason alone. There are many ways in which you can learn to be a leader. You might want to think about taking a leadership or management course from Aston Online, even if you are not technically in business, as the skills you pick up will often translate to your life generally. Moreover, if you simply walk around with the air of a leader and make a point of trying to be one, this process will develop a genuine confidence in you which you just don’t get otherwise, so make sure that you are thinking about doing that in your daily life too.

Prove Yourself Wrong

There might be some idea that you have which is always getting in the way of you being able to do something right, and in particular if you are trying to be confident then there might be many of these ideas which you need to be aware of in yourself. The more aware you become of these ideas, the more likely it is that you will be able to do away with them, so that is always going to be the first step. It might be that you have this idea that you can’t walk confidently into a room and just starting speaking to people. If that idea is present, all you need to do is to prove it wrong, even if only in a small and simple way. Do something small that shows that the idea probably isn’t entirely accurate. That could be just talking to one person, or making a point of looking particularly tall and confident as you enter a room. Whatever it is, it is bound to show that you can be confident, and that will help you to develop your real confidence over time.

Act Through Your Fear

Fear is the main thing that stops people being confident. The more that you break your fear down and see what it is really made of, the easier it becomes to see through it. When you see through it, you can learn to act more naturally and organically, and not in a way that is all about trying to be as confident as possible without really feeling it. Make a point of starting to act through your fear, in whatever small ways you can. You will be proving to yourself that you can be more confident, and over time this will grow and grow until you can see that you are genuinely a lot more confident than you used to be.

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