So my boyfriend broke up with me.
As a lot of you know, my boyfriend broke up with me. People seem surprised at how well I have bounced back, but, in all honesty, this was one of the hardest experiences of my life.
Admittedly, sharing my personal life with you here on the blog was a bit of a gamble. I wanted to show the world how happy we were and inspire other couples to travel, but now that everything has fallen apart, I feel I owe you an explanation. It’s weird for me to have a diary of our relationship in the form of this blog that I have to face every single day. It’s like an unwelcome reminder of what used to be and what could have been. Was it travelling that made it so he broke up with me?
Yes and no.
Mostly yes.
Richard and I were in our early 20s when we met as solo backpackers in a youth hostel in California and started dating. That’s awfully young to commit to a long term relationship. Scratch that, we never actually committed to a long term relationship. It occurred organically, as a result of being so good together. I truly felt I had found my soulmate for all those years. For me, this relationship had the stamp of foreverness all over it. I was fulfilled and there was no question to be had about any aspect of our relationship. It was perfect for me. Or so I thought.
We travelled so well together – and not just this last year and a half. We always have – and this was a major asset to our relationship on top of all the great things we had going for us. We were unique: everything was smooth sailing for the whole ten years that it lasted.
And then everything came to an abrupt halt when we decided to travel individually for a month last February. I came back, and he broke up with me.
It was not something I had expected, planned or wanted, but it happened. And this is how it’s going to be, so I might as well come to terms with it, somehow. Plus, I have something beautiful to look back on, and I will cherish that forever. I feel like travelling fast-forwarded the evolution of our life and thought process and this could be why he broke up with me. And likewise, having to lick my wounds all by myself at the other end of the world was possibly easier.
I remember me saying to someone just a few weeks before he broke up with me, if ever anything happened to us, it would be the end of me. And when my boyfriend broke up with me, I really did think that it was the end of me. I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t even think I could keep going. In fact, I decided not to keep going, but something inside me told me going home was a mistake. So I’ve been keeping going, or trying to, at least.
My journey has taken on some unexpected turns and I have decided to roll with it. It’s an incredibly empowering feeling to know that you, and you only, can decide what you do with your pain, and I have to hold onto this because otherwise, I will trip and fall. What’s the point of dwelling in the past when I am in this magical part of the world anyway? It’s a whole lot sunnier in the now. That said, I have no idea what I am doing. I have no plan. And you know what? It feels kind of amazing. Scary, yes, but also amazing.
It’s an incredibly empowering feeling to know that you, and you only, can decide what you do with your pain. What’s the point of dwelling in the past when I am in this magical part of the world anyway? It’s a whole lot sunnier in the now.
The backlog of blog posts I had that included Richard have now all been published. From here on in, this is My story.
Welcome to Only Amélie.
Change is good. I’m realising how much potential for new experiences this has. Turns out, it’s not the end of me at all. It might in fact be the beginning. Many doors are opening around me and I have already stepped through a few of them. I am seeing a lot of scary and beautiful things through them. My next few months are already shaping up to be a lot different from my last 16 – and I am so excited to share it all with you!
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It’s incredibly brave of you to openly talk about this. I like your attitude and how you are dealing with something like this that it can really change your life. All the best for this new chapter of your life 🙂
Thanks Franca <3
“Only Amelie”. That’s kind of perfect. Good for you – looking forward to see where this next chapter takes you…but I think I already have an inkling! 😉
Haha! *wink*
Good luck and enjoy! Vipassana might help you focusing on the now, so definitely give it a try 🙂 Enjoy Only Amelie + all the wonderful people you might meet.
Lots of courage,
Mittch
I meditate every morning 🙂
Change is good but always uncomfortable.
Travelling alone is a totally different experience. My gf and I broke up 7 months into our trip, nothing acrimonious but we went our separate ways. The next 3 months were full of experiences I wouldn’t of had if I was part of a couple.
All the best experiences start at the edge of your comfort zone.
Enjoy.
Thank you so much for your comment Will, I could not agree more. I hope you are still enjoying your newfound freedom also 🙂
Stay strong.
I hope you continue to embrace the journey ahead and enjoy the beauty of solo traveling. Best wishes for your onward travels. 🙂
I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had stayed in all the long term relationships. 🙂
Thanks a lot <3 We grow so much through hardship and I am leaning how strong I am right now. It's a good feeling.
[…] was not something I had ever anticipated or wished for… and obviously neither was letting go of my ten year relationship. Thus went my brutal return from a magical six weeks in India, leaving an empty shell […]
[…] life for bike touring since becoming single. Life had put so many cyclists on my path after the breakup that I took it as a sign for me to “convert” and begin a new journey, figuratively […]
Just found your Blog and its Great. I also just had a breakup and it feels good to Know that I’m Not the only one. I Wish you a Lot of strength, it will get easier, i’m sure..
I’ll ne travelling at least for the next 12months (also Solo and vegan) so i Hope to read More inspiring posts on your Blog during my travels 🙂
Jacqueline
Thanks Jacqueline, nice to meet you 🙂 Let me know if you have a blog and the vegan discoveries you make along the road 🙂
[…] food guide for the blog. I was there to wrap up and try to come to terms with the remainder of a ten year relationship. Hell in paradise you could say. How ironic. But as a result of a broken heart, I ended up […]
[…] came to volunteer at a guesthouse in Malaysia as part of my rehabilitation into the single people club. I needed some time to pick up the pieces and to decide what my next move would be before […]
Amelie,
I was got here by one of your later posts! I am sorry for your lost, but as a “warrior” that you are you probably have already overcome that situation. I just want to say to you that I have passed the same situation as you and Life don’t end now! Enjoy the richness of being alone, go and do wherever you want without arguing is a bless.
I want you to know that I am following your journeys with much interest, although I not see my self as a World Tourer… maybe just England (start planning) now and Europe later!
Keep the good pace girl… that the winds of joy might be always with you!
Cheers
[…] breaking down of “me” following the end of my relationship last April was an essential step in my life to rebuild better foundations and I am […]
[…] changes for me: in the span of just a few short months, I have lost a family member as well as my long-term relationship, amongst other things. Traveling became something that I both dreaded to do by myself and needed to […]
Wow. Thank you for your honesty and reflections. You’re very strong and definitely approaching things in the right way. Breakups are always, always hard, but people are stronger than they think they are, and there are so many possibilities that are now opened to you! I always thought the phrase “when a door shuts, a window opens” was super cliche, but I’ve found it to be true in most aspects of life.
I wish you much happiness and look forward to following you in this new chapter of your travels!
Thanks so much for your kind words Anna! And, yes! Several windows have opened 🙂
Wow, this was a powerful read. Keep going, never stop – you are a great inspiration for many people across the globe!
Awww thanks so much Matt! <3 <3 xoxox
Just found your blog (researching as I’m starting my own) and will definitely be following it from now!! Love it and love your attitude, it’s so brave of you to talk about these issues openly, and I admire you for that. Keep on going though! Xxxx
Thanks so much Liv! 😀
Being solo traveler can be a good change too! I remember that I had the same kind of experience. Well, travel can mend a broken, so they say!
Thanks for sharing your personal story! It was so brave of you and looking forward to the “Only Amelie” posts! ?